Beaten
by inclement
Summary: Guilt is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. Part of a series of oneshots based on kirskipkat's lj prompt.


**Disclaimer**: Not mine, sadly  
**Warnings**: Some violence  
**Summary**: He's never been beaten before, and for a full second he doesn't believe it. But he's the best, a practical _god_ walking the Earth, and he'll come back. Only he doesn't.  
kirskipkat's "Practice Makes Perfect: Agon" prompt on lj  
**A/N**:This is the longest thing I've ever written! [...even though I've only written two pieces...] Please tell me if I've overdosed on the parallelism or drama. Thank you!

He can_ sorta_ remember, just at the faintest, fuzziest depths of his conscious, when _Haaaaahhhhhhhh? Get out of my way, fucking trash _used to be _Oh, sorry for bumping into you. _If he tries _really_ hard, he can recall the days when Kongo Agon said _Please _and _Thank you_ and _You're welcome_.

Kongo Unsui wants his _old _little brother back. Kinda.

After all, he's not really sure that the cute little kid of his memories is even real. Unsui knows he's trash, and aren't trash stupid enough to have hallucinations? He knows he's mental, because only someone (_completely batshit_) insane would challenge a genius. Maybe he's been hit in the head too many times.

He crosses the street and averts his eyes when he sees a familiar dread-headed figure surrounded by ten others. He already knows the outcome. Goon number one will charge in, most likely with a pocket knife. One casual, lazy deflection to the side, then a paralyzing chop directly onto the unlucky man's spine. Unsui thinks it rather looks like Enma slamming his seal down, damning yet another soul to the Underworld. Maybe this group will be smart enough to charge all at once, but even then they are worthless (_ants in front of a god_). More a demon than a god, he thinks briefly. He tries to remember when Agon fell from heaven.

He turns his head, eyes moving from the dull gray concrete back to the fight. It's already over, the victor already gone. He takes another step, and bumps into a statue. Hard, like marble, like the glorious Greek and Roman gods. _Where are you going, Unko-chan?_ For a moment, it overlaps with a higher-pitched voice, _Where are you going, nii-san? _Unsui shakes his head, and it disappears. _Hearing voices, trash?_ He raises his head, prepared to see his (_worthless_) reflection in those blue lenses, but there's no one there anymore.

The door closes quietly behind him as Unsui climbs the stairs to _his_ apartment. Really, he's the one who pays for rent, utilities, groceries, but more often than not he feels like a stranger in his own home. He doesn't bother to turn on the lights before he walks to his room. The darkness is fitting (_for trash like himself_), he muses. He collapses onto his bed, eyes unfocused on the void above him. Of course, he remembers, the window is in Agon's room.

When Unsui finally falls asleep, he dreams of blue and light and rain.

It is raining. A toddler runs out from underneath the blue awning, arms stretched out, ready to be picked up by his mother. The other remains still, taking hesitant steps forward. He falls. The younger one turns around with a toothy grin, _Nii-san need help?_

It is raining. Two identical infants are sitting side by side, calm in the center of a sea of crying children. Another bolt of lightning, another clap of thunder. Neither react, content to hold the hand of the other as chaos erupts around them.

It is raining. A woman is cradling a baby to her chest, exhausted yet happy. She gasps, _Anata, I think another one's coming!_ She closes her eyes and prepares herself once more.

Unsui bolts awake, hands curled in his blankets, breaths shallow and uneven. He's not quite sure _where _these memories are from, but he knows that something is wrong with him. Why else would he be dreaming so?

The only way he can tell it's morning is by the glowing blue digits on his dresser – after all, the window's in Agon's room. He reaches in his closet, pulling out a gi blindly. There are exactly 8 school uniforms hanging in his closet. They are the only items of clothing in there. Unsui pauses for a moment and wonders what would happen if he ever left (_got kicked out of) _Shinryuuji. He shudders, because he realizes that he wouldn't know who he was anymore.

His mind is still in the heavens (_a place he'll never reach)_ as he scrimmages against another team. Their linemen charge towards him as he scans the field for his receiver. For a moment, he's glad Agon isn't here to laugh at him for his inattention. Then he remembers his place and is glad Agon isn't here to be bored by how _weak_ the opposing team is. After all, Agon is a god and gods deserve the best.

After the game, he lets the hot water pour down his head and Unsui thinks of rain.

It is raining when an elementary school is hosting its sports day. None of the kids mind, because rain makes mud and mud is fun. A small boy is looking for a partner for the three-legged race, but no one wants to run with him because he runs too fast. His face lights up when he sees a lone figure sitting under a tree. _Hey nii-san, be my partner?_

Unsui turns the shower off before his thoughts can continue. He doesn't like thinking of what might have been.

He doesn't bother looking in the mirror before he steps outside. He knows what he looks like; he sees his face every day. And if looking at the visage of a god makes him sick, he doesn't want to know what looking at a (_common, ordinary_) mortal will make him feel.

It's sprinkling when he walks outside, and he hates that he can never escape the rain. Unsui hates the rain because it was raining when he received a sports scholarship (_and felt wanted for the first time in years)_ that was for his brother and it was raining when the only girl he's ever had a crush on (_he can't remember her name or face anymore_) confessed to his brother and it was raining when he failed the test he had been studying for ages while his brother (_slept half way through the test_) aced it and he hates the rain because it reminds him of how much better his brother is. He hates that distance between the two of them, how he's on one side and Agon's on the other of an uncrossable divide. But what Unsui hates the most is that _curse_ that Agon's had since he's been born because he knows without it he'd have a little brother.

Luckily, the heavens stop crying as Unsui begins to walk home. He halts for a moment and wishes he wasn't so damn poetic because thinking of the heavens crying makes him think of Agon crying and that is a mental image he needs never. But his mind is a traitor and _Where were you? _blends with _You lied to me_ which fades into _You said you'd protect me_ and _I don't need you anymore_ becomes _I only need myself. _ Guilt is the worst, he thinks. Not envy, not sloth, not wrath. It gnaws away constantly, except since he hasn't felt anything in years it's either stopped or just eaten all the way through his heart. He isn't quite sure which one he'd prefer.

He can never find the right words when he says his brother. Agon is harassing some thugs (_who looked at him funny_)? Silence. Agon is hitting on some girls (_who look like cheap corner whores_)? It never happened. Agon is gulping alcohol (_like its water_) and lighting up during class? _I'm very sorry sensei, I'll try to talk to him about it_. It's not so much that Unsui _doesn't_ want his brother to stop but more that he feels he has no right to. Because no matter how hard he tries to forget, deny, atone, what he has done is inexcusable. He has to take responsibility for creating a monster.

It is raining when a scorned child decides he's had enough of being third or fourth place. He gathers other children who, tired of always losing, want to win just once. With strength in numbers, their desire morphs and twists, until all they want is to make Mister Always Number One taste defeat.

The eldest child is the protector (_the guardian_) of their siblings. Five-year-old Unsui is no different, and every night before he falls asleep, he hugs his little brother, and whispers, _I'll be there for you. I'll protect you. We'll be together. Always._ Most of the time Agon is too asleep to do anything but snuggle into the comfortable warmth of his brother.

It is not raining when two boys finish competing in all of their school's sports events. Grasping each other's hand, they lean against the solid wood of a sakura tree and fall asleep. As it starts sprinkling, one of the children wakes up. A large raindrop falls on his face, and he untangles his fingers from his brother's. He considers shaking his younger twin up, but decides against it because Agon sometimes throws temper tantrums when he's woken.

It is raining when Kongo Unsui gets up and leaves his brother all alone under the sakura tree. He plans on asking Yamamoto-sensei to carry Agon back to the classroom (_he can't do it himself, he's too weak_). He walks by Mochida-kun and his entourage without a second thought, figuring that the ugly sneer is just poor sportsmanship.

Rain is definitely not fun, Unsui thinks, because rain makes mud and mud gets in shoes all too easily. He grimaces as his feet squelch into the brown muck and all he hears is the steady squish-squish-squish of his no-longer-new sneakers and not the squish-squish-squish of fists sinking into skin.

Because in this case, even if Kongo Agon has the reflexes of a _god_, he can't dodge something (_sting like a butterfly, float like a bee, your hands can't hit what_) he can't see. By the time the first blow lands in his stomach and he wakes up, it's already too late. Tetsu-kun, the biggest and slowest kid in their grade, has his arms and Agon is too little to get loose. Being a genius has never been worse because it just means that Agon is one year younger, one year less developed, than his assailants.

A strong gust of wind and a branch snaps before falling to the ground. Unsui jumps a little and continues his mission to find his teacher. It's funny how a breaking limb of a tree can sound so similar to a breaking limb of a human.

Agon gasps as an open hand strikes his cheek. He doesn't know the word for what he's feeling and all he knows is that he doesn't. like. it. He's a _tensai_, a prodigy. So when he finally falls, when he is finally beaten, the pain is a hundred times worse. Before his mind can stop itself, he remembers a word he read in the dictionary the other day. _Protect: (verb) __to defend or guard from attack, invasion, loss, annoyance, insult, etc.; cover or shield from injury or danger._ He wonders where his brother is.

Unsui gasps as a gust of wind strikes his cheek. He suddenly remembers that he's the only one with a jacket and that Agon must be absolutely freezing. Turning around, he hurries back towards the sakura tree. He's supposed to take care of his brother, after all.

It's only when Agon _finally _screams (_why would he know to scream? pain is something new_)then Mochida-kun and his gang wake up. They blink and see a broken arm, a leg that twists in a way legs are not supposed to twist, cuts, bruises that are slowly getting darker, _blood_. They wonder how those got there and look at each other in confusion. Suddenly, they can't meet eyes.

He's always learned to trust his gut, and right now his instincts are telling him something is very, very wrong. Unsui starts running back to the tree. He slips on the mud. The delay caused by his fall is enough time for seven boys to disappear (_in the end it comes down to sixty seconds_).

One minute is enough (_too much_) for his genius mind to process everything. Agon knows that he is strong and fast. He could beat any of his attackers one-on-one. So how did he _lose_? _It's simple,_ his brain supplies, _it's because they had numbers_. They. Plural. He wonders what would have happened if there had been one more person fighting with him. _Not nii-san, he's not strong enough. They would have _destroyed _him. _It's true; Unsui is not naturally athletic like his brother. It's only because of Agon's tiny instinctual dodges that he's not damaged more than he already is. _I needed someone…someone like _me.

As Agon slowly reshapes his world, Unsui stumbles into view. But it's already too late.

_Where were you? _he demands. _You lied to me_ and _you said you'd protect me_ he accuses. _I don't need you anymore_ he hisses. _I only need myself._

It is raining when Kongo Agon falls and never gets back up.


End file.
